it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
