dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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