It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
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