dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Randomize
