how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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