You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
