During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
