I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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