my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
