I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
