they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
