Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize