I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
