Already got asked if we're dating
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
