Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
