well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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