i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
