It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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