You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize