if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
