I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
