community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I am midnight drunk by noon
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
