I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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