One girl and one boy is just not enough.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
