I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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