Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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