evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
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we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
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Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
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