An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize