Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
