Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
