Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize
