I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize