the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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