need another drink. this is the easiest way
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
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Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
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What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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