i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize