Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
