The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize