I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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