New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
