Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
