I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
