oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize