im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize