i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
