Kiss
Puke
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
