evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
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he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
there is glitter all over my balls
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