That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
