Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
