I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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