Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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