Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
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