i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Everclear isn't food dammit
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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