Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
