a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
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This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
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