If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I am spending my child support on dildos
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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