is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?†This is time sensitive.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
