Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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