But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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