i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize