hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
She needs sedatives and a leash
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
