he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
tell me about the eggs
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
