I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
