when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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