I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
